Whats the best way to tighten up my steering
I have a 3.5 inch lift with 35s. Whenever i go over a bump over 50mph i basically lose control. I do have the stock steering stabilizer, if i get a better once such as the bilstein 5100 will this solve my problem?
I would think an alignment check would be first on the list.
It sounds like bump steer. How much actual lift did your 3.5" lift give? If you are at or over 4" of actual lift you may want to install a drop pitman arm. A stabilizer will only mask the problem. You should fix the problem first.
Please explain.. I am now lost.. A Pitman arm transmits the motion it receives from the steering box causing it to move left or right to turn the wheels in the appropriate direction. How will that help solve his proble other then lower the angle. I know all the steering components work in unison, but; why would the pitman arm be the culprit -vs- the steering stabilzer. 



So you fix the angle by different methods- usually a drop pitman arm will lower your drag link on the driver side to match a track bar bracket that's usually also installed with a proper lift. Ideally you want the drag link and track bar to be as horizontal as possible.
Its not death wobble, just darts off in another direction like you said
Also with the 2doors it's worse, but caster plays a huge roll as well. I wouldn't recommend correcting it with bolts but instead do it with control arms. However I have stock control arms and once you dial in your toe right and fix your steering angles, the caster being off doesn't effect it too badly- or at least its not noticeable. This is on a 4 door in which the added wheelbase helps stability to begin with.



