Help?!?
So I have a 2013 JKUR, 6-speed, with only about 66k on it. Normally it runs like a top. Two nights ago I was driving it the 30 miles home from work and ALL the electrical gremlins came out on the way home. It still ran fine, even though at times I would lose the tach and temp gauge (speedo and fuel kept working), every warning light took turns flashing at me, and even my dash lights would go out and then back on from time to time.

I parked it, locked it >with the fob<, for an hour or so, and then went back out to try some things... First, none of my key fobs would unlock it and when I used the key to open the driver's door the alarm went off. I pulled both battery terminals and cleaned everything and let it sit a little longer.
Hooked them back up and the alarm resumed. I got it to stop with one of the two fobs I have but the ignition was completely locked out. Tried disconnecting the battery and pulling the M13 fuse for awhile and then, the alarm goes off and fob does NOT stop it. Let it sleep overnight with both terminals disconnected.

Yesterday, I put a brand new $300 battery in it, pulled the M13 fuse for awhile, while I cleaned all the grounds I could find in the engine compartment (will do G101 on the block this morning), put the fuse back in, hooked up the new battery and the damn alarm goes off, neither of my fobs will stop it, and the ignition is still locked out. It's sitting with the ground cable disconnected overnight. Will try to find something to reset it and try to get it up and running tomorrow morning. If that fails, towing it to the dealer seems like the only reasonable option. Any further advice would be GREATLY appreciated.

 

That looks like the infamous "power isn't quite right" syndrome. Here's what it MIGHT be...

1. The battery was not fully charged. If you have a trickle charger, put it on overnight, then do a "reset". That involves pulling the negative, then the positive connections from the battery. Touch the wires together for a few seconds, then let everything set for a while. Another overnight if possible. If that doesn't work...
2. There might be a "high resistance under load" issue with the ground. The battery is grounded to the engine block. The terminations may be corroded, or the wire itself is corroded. To test, put a multimeter set to DC Volts and put the negative lead to the negative battery terminal, and the positive lead anywhere on the starter case. Try to crank the engine and observe the voltage on the meter. Anything more than about 0.5VDC indicates a "high resistance under load" problem, which is likely corrosion either in the connections or the wire itself.

If the tests "pass", there's something else going on - maybe the TIPM. Good luck!