It was pretty easy to tell when I jacked it up and put the jack stand next to the tire and spun it. I put the stand almost touching the tire, when I spun it part would come back and touch the jack and then there would be a gap further into the spin.

As far as bending wheels - I have the 18" alloy and have bent 2 wheels hitting curbs, and one bent when the jeep was left sitting on a flat tire over the weekend. They are not as tough as one looks.

I had death wobble too - did all the things that they are telling you, stabilizer and alignment, and that was not the culprit. Check your track bar bushings and bolts. This was what finally fixed it.